Lately I’m finding myself stuck in the future.
The results of the election threw me for a loop. In the weeks since we learned the results, I’ve chased every imaginable dire scenario down its respective rabbit hole. I’ve fretted and worried and worked up a lather of panic.
“What if…” I keep wondering. And in my head, I start time-traveling to 2025 and beyond – a very murky, cloudy place at best. Before I know it, I’m held hostage by my imagination as I dream up all of the ways that our country is going to collapse and take the rest of the world with it.
Sadly, my anxious little brain doesn’t know the difference between my current situation here in my everyday life and the imaginary dystopia that’s taken up residence in my head.
This is not to say that there aren’t plenty of reasons for concern, and in some cases alarm. There are any number of “if this thing happens, here’s the dire outcome” possibilities.
At the same time, I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen in the next year. Or even the next day or hour, for that matter. There have already been more twists and turns than I anticipated.
I don’t know what will result from the actions our leaders are going to take or have already taken. I can guess, but I don’t know for sure. And I certainly don’t know if and when another disaster like the pandemic or a massive storm is going to prompt a new state of emergency.
In fact, there’s pretty much nothing I’ve ever known before the fact.
If I could travel back in time and give my teenage self a look at one day in the life of my Medicare-eligible self, I would be very surprised. There is no way I could have foreseen the events that paved the path to the life I lead now. While I’ve had my share of joy and good fortune, I’ve also had plenty of heartbreak. Enough, in fact, that I’ve learned to be grateful that I can’t see what the future holds.
Remaining aware that I don’t know what’s to come is the only way I know to be free from dark ruminations. “I don’t know” is a powerful statement. It can keep us curious and open us to what is actually happening rather than allowing ourselves to become stuck in despair over something that may never occur.
Remembering this allows me to free myself from my doomsday loop du jour so I can create the space for me to devote my time and energy to joining others in meeting the challenges we face with positive solutions.
Because the truth is that it’s what we do here and now that determines what the future will bring.