Deadra
Stuck in the Future
Lately I’m finding myself stuck in the future.
The results of the election threw me for a loop. In the weeks since we learned the results, I’ve chased every imaginable dire scenario down its respective rabbit hole. I’ve fretted and worried and worked up a lather of panic.
“What if…” I keep wondering. And in my head, I start time-traveling to 2025 and beyond – a very murky, cloudy place at best. Before I know it, I’m held hostage by my imagination as I dream up all of the ways that our country is going to collapse and take the rest of the world with it.
Sadly, my anxious little brainKeep reading
Deadra 
Stress Walk
These days I’ve been on edge more than normal. There are a number of factors that could be contributing to my anxiety. But I’m sure that first on the list is the election that’s only days away.
Not so long ago I became angry and frustrated after spending too much time in my political echo chamber of choice. My initial response was to rage around the house muttering and sputtering. Realizing that I needed a more constructive outlet, I stomped out to the mud room, put on my boots and jacket and charged down the hill for a three-and-a-half-mile walk.
And then something shifted. I began to notice Keep reading
Imperfect Saint
As I sit down to write this, it’s late afternoon. But the sky is darkening as if night is falling. A storm is brewing. Nothing is stirring. It’s the literal calm before the storm.
The scene outside my window mirrors the churning in my soul whenever I try to make sense of the news these days.
In order to cope with the endless stream of unsettling events, I find myself seeking out inspirational and comforting words. And earlier this week I stumbled on just the thing…Keep reading
What Lies Beneath
Several years ago, we had the barn that was attached to the north end of our house torn down and replaced by a more usable structure. For the entire summer there was a trench along the east side of our house, rimmed by a mound of dirt.
After the first serious rain the newly dug trench and ridges were dotted with chunks of pottery that had been cast aside by former owners of our house. And not just pottery, but glass shards, handwrought ironware, and even a few animal bones found their way to the top of the dirt after decades of lying undisturbed below.
Recently I’ve been feeling like I’m back in the trench discovering bits and pieces of lives lived decades ago. But my current trench can’t be found around the foundation of the house. Rather, it’s inside my head and heart.
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Our Lady of the Workbench
I did not grow up in a household of churchgoers. When I was a child, if I wanted to go to church – and I did, to the local Methodist church – I was on my own.
So imagine my surprise when, while cleaning out my parents’ home, I came face to face with this icon of Mary hanging above my father’s workbench.
It was shortly after my mother died, just ten months after my father’s death. Suddenly my brother and I were confronted with all of our parents’ earthly possessions Keep reading
Path of Totality
My husband Chuck had been making plans for last Monday’s solar eclipse since 2017.
Part of those preparations included determining the optimal place to experience the longest period of totality. Criteria included maximum duration of darkness, unobstructed views of the sky, in a setting within less than half a day’s drive from home with overnight accommodations.
The winner turned out to be a ski resort in the far northern reaches of Vermont. This is not a place…
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Transition
Our daffodils seem to have made a commitment. They’ve broken through the layers of frosty dirt and there’s no going back now.
The vernal equinox has come and gone. Here in Vermont there’s still snow on the ground in some places. And lots of mud in others. Earlier in the week the temperature was almost balmy, but today the wind carries a chill reminiscent of January. As I write this we are preparing for a nor’easter that promises to dump a foot of heavy wet snow. Yet through it all the daffodils – the cheery yellow harbingers of warm weather…Keep reading
The Last Suit
Lent has begun and I find myself gripped by an inexplicable urge to clean my closet. For those who observe the six-week period of Lent, it’s a time of introspection and reflection, a time of eliminating that which separates us from God. Traditionally this has meant giving up something – particularly something that seems self-indulgent, like chocolate or alcohol, or a habit that might create a barrier between the self and the divine. Something that I came to terms with years ago is that I need to work out my spiritual life in the physical world. Because when I do…
Valentine
My great-grandfather was born on February 14. His parents named him Valentine and his friends called him Val. The card in the photo is one of his combo Valentine’s Day/Birthday cards. I vaguely remember seeing it in an old album when I was a kid and recognizing that the message was that people were thinking of him. He mattered to them. Giving and receiving cards was a large part of my elementary school Valentine’s Day celebration. The little paper cards, bearing the words “Be mine,” that we slipped into the slots of each other’s decorated shoeboxes carried the message that…
My Ghost
Imagine leaving all of the unpleasant things from the old year behind and just starting all over again in the new year. Now that we’ve entered the second month of 2024 I’m aware of the 2023 residue that clings – wars, extreme weather, lingering effects of the pandemic, political animosity. To say that we’re living in unsettled times is an understatement. And it makes me anxious. But in addition to the anxiety that I brought into this year with me, I also brought a surprising source of inspiration: Matilda. Matilda Hoyt Alexander, to be precise. I never met Matilda. Not…